Draft Recap

It’s been a week y’all.  We motherfuckin came, saw, and conquered that nasty bitch of a draft we had. It was a dirtier job than Mike Rowe’s mom, but now we’ve all had time to calm down since the draft and pray and contemplate on our #BLESSED picks …except for James, who is still calling out who is and who isn’t gay. He would know? I have been bleeding out my dick, puking out my butt and farting out my nose or something like that for the past week, so I apologize for the delay. I also wanna call everyone out for being lil schoolboy bitches and for sticking so close to ESPN’s draft rankings! Kauf, where was ARodg at 6? Sully, where was Ponder at 12?? No creativity that makes our draft so crazy each and every year…knew I should’ve brought Casey!

Let’s Go!

Hold onto your butts

1. Kranz

Pretty lucky to get the #1 pick in the only 2 drafts you did this year. You must’ve felt like legendary “Boston aka ‘The Town'” actor/really cool batman guy Ben Affleck. How you like them apples Damon?
Ben

2. Brady

Oh baby, Brady got Ebrostradamus favorite player in the whole draft at #2 here with Doug Martin. Shaking my head on why Hans would want to give up the #2 pick to you, but I can’t even give you credit since you wanted to get rid of it too! Oh well, smoke em if you got em.

marshall3

3. Brooke

Loved your first 3 picks, hated the rest which is kind of like watching James pick his butt, I’m sure. #FARRRT
Farrrt

4. Taylor

RGIII in the 5th could be the steal of the draft, but until you win some games in the league you better explain yourself for riding the whole season on RGIII’s wimpy little track star legs. Thats gets a big chiding pal, hustle back to the bench & take a seat.

Muschamp

5. ZFartz

Zartin on these hoes was nowhere to be seen come draft time, come find out he bailed on down Kato way, probably to celebrate like this everytime he made a pick.  Solid RBish, would be a scary team in PPR, which the commish may or may not switch us to over night without telling us. Prayin Eddie Lacey doesnt run wild on us this year brotha.

techexcitement_medium 1

V Tech Spazz 2

6. Kauf

Absolutely love this team, minus worst player in the entire league Darren McFadden. Seriously, I’m convinced you could have pulled off worst to first this year.   This reminded me of you trying to figure out how to draft on your tablet before we started.

Tech deck

Also this is the best D player on your favorite team:

claybike

God, I hate him.

7. Marissa

Sup champ, didnt see you at the draft so I can only assume you were back with E-40 again, drafting in the war room like this..

bodybuilder b j

8. James

The commish was probably pretty happy to Lesean Mccoy at 8, thereby ruining my draft like you did probably 8 other times this year in various other #Blessed leagues by taking my rightful players.  Not as happy as Strahan right here, but damn….Maria Menudos guys.

Strahan

9. Hans

Ray Rice at 9! Ray Rice at 9! Ray Rice at 9! Ray Rice at 9! Ice Cream Man! Ice Cream Man!

ice cream man

10. Ebrostradamus

I was extremely pissed that none of the elite level running backs fell to me at 10….never should have got so excited at the Tereasa’s Pre Draft Party. Thanks Obama.

thanks obama

11. Ross

Left after 4 or 5 rounds, pretty pathetic showing brotha. Not like youve even come close to winning this league ever! Thanks for the $50 homey.

dolla dolla bils yall

12. Sully

As we all know, Sully has made some extremely laughable picks in the past that have magically become some of the greatest picks of all time, including AP last year & Randy Moss first overall his first Pats year. This time around he made Andrew Luck the 5th QB picked, not so outrageous but still ahead of Cam, Matty Ice, Kap & RGIII to name a few. So for now I’ll do this:

fat african laughing

But now I’m definitely calling Andrew Luck for 5,000 yards and 60 TDS this year!!!

luckhey

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