Week 5: Sign Josh Freebase

Its time to be honest with you guys: I can’t pick for shit this season. Hope you were sitting down when you read that.  Maybe its cuz I have been giving a half-assed effort 100% of the time lately, or maybe its cuz NFL parity has made teams more even than ever and it’s a bitch to find true seperation in the competition. Either way, it’s best time to start taking George Costanza’s advice by taking whatever I do and do the opposite.

costanza

We all remember the epic ESPN show Playmakers: well they did an oral history of the show and its pretty frickin sweet and I highly recommend you both read & then go back and watch. Here’s the link:

http://www.tddaily.com/nfl/playmakers-espn-oral-history/

MVP OF THE WEEK:  Adrian Peterson for his monster game in jolly old England, and, more importantly, giving Macho King Kranz his first win of this season. You go girl.

LVP OF THE WEEK: Ill give it to top 7 RB’s Lesean McCoy & DeMarco Murray for combining for 18 points against Thump Daddy, not bad but for coming into the week as top 5 RB’s and losing by only 10 it has to sting for the Commish.

BOSTON STRONG AWARD: Josh Freeman, or as my favorite twitter @PFTCommenter calls him, Josh Freebase. Speaking of the Bucs, PFT Commentator has some good ideas on how to turn that lost pirate ship around.

BRANDON BURNS MEMORIAL THATS INTERESTING AWARD: Yikes, what the hell happened to Ray Rice?? Murdah Ray’s departure meant that much to the team?? He has had one week of 12 points, then 1, 0, & 1. Thank Ebrostradamus  that Zhans took him a spot before me in the first round.

LAST WEEK: 2-4

SEASON TOTAL: 10-14

SEADDERAL SEAHAWKS V SHOW ME YOUR TDS

I feel terrible for starting 2 Packers this week but Darryl Richardson’s bitch ass has forced my hand. Brooke finally got a decent game (One play) from CJ Spiller, and to be honest your team is looking pretty cold right now. Tyrelle Pryor? Joique Bell? Brandon Bolden? Mine is limping along as well, but im confident in my squad this week and I think I avenge my week 2 one point loss that has sent my season into a tailspin.

EAT MY CECIL SHORTS V TEAM EL DIRTAY

This is easily the best battle of the week, both these dudes are 3-1 and both are riding multi-game winning streaks. Sullys trade for Fred Jackson & Demaryious Thomas looks better & better. RG1-3 is on bye, and thus Taylor is starting Matt Schaub against the 49ers…ouch. Hows Jared Cook been working out 4 you lately??? Ebrostradamus slow burn baby. Bradys team is hot like fire and I’m taking him in the BarnBurner of the Week.

COOPER CLUX CLAN V HEADLESS HORSEMAN

James got a stunning 18 points from the Browns D. He has 2 Browns starting and he couldve started 3 with Whatchu talkin bout Willis Mcgahee turning in a solid performance….Just when you think Zhans has completely run out of FAAB, he goes and adds Largarrate freakin Blount for $15. I bet it works out very well for you. But yeah u gon lose I think James wins this one.

PIMPIN AINT BREESY V SPARK OF ZMART

Really nothing too exciting to say about these teams: 2 elite QBs flanked by one or two studs and a bunch of meh pieces. Danny Woodcock is en fuego for the Chargers. What the hell I’m taking Zmart in the upset.

TEAM MARTENS V CHURCH OF PURPLE JESUS

First v almost the worst battle it out here, and what do you know the Macho King is only projected 79 points…yikes. David Wilson has actually been building some buzz in the fantasy world this week and a few think this is the week he finally breaks out for the winless Giants. I can honestly say I have never heard of Kris Durham in my life, and I dare you to tell me what team he plays for without looking. Roros getting top 10 production out of nearly every position, and I bet he positions Kranz as his bitch this week.

TEAM KAUFHOLD V MONEY BADGER

First v the true worst battle in the zzzzzzzz game of the week. Oh wait, not only has Kauf benched Kaep & McFadden but hes only projected to lose by 2 points!! This would be one hell of an upset..and considering how reliant Brady is on the Lions coming up big every week……I think Im calling Kauf in the massive shocker. YOU CAN GIIIIIIIIIIIIIT OUT

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