Week 12: The Home Stretch

What up all its the worlds greatest fantasy football prognosticator and all around better looking Brian Kranz here to break down the playoff run in the legendary, gladiator-style tournament of champions known as the FFF 3.0. I will take the blame for Hate Week being so lame last week. The matchups didn’t breed the type of hate we are used to doling out on a daily basis, and I’ll take the blame for picking such a lame week. Next season it will be months earlier, like when Ross & Zmart were born.

So to recap:

This year:
galifanakis

romoshrug

bear balls

Next Year:

AP Dallas

MVP OF THE WEEK: Megatron, 26 points, fantasy gawd.

LVP OF THE WEEK: Percy Harvin, one catch for 17 yards in his return against the Vikings. C’mon Pete Carroll unleash the migrane beast!

BRANDON BURNS “THATS INTERESTING” AWARD: Matt Forte, consistantly putting up the points this season. Only one bad week, double digits the rest, yet with no real superstud game. Thats RB value EBROSTRADAMUS can get behind. No homo.

LAST WEEK: 5-1 (WHITE MOM DANCING EXACTLY LIKE SULLY WILL BE AT THE JAY-Z CONCERT!!!!!)

WHITE PPL

SEASON TOTAL: 38-30

CURRENT PLAYOFF SEEDS WITH 2 WEEKS LEFT

1. MONEY BADGER 10-1 BYE

2. COOPER CLUX CLAN 7-4 BYE

3. PIMPIN AINT BREESY 5-6 (Embarrassingly leading the Easy Division with a losing record, what a shocker)

4. TEAM EL DIRTAY 8-3

5. SEADDERALL SEAHAWKS 6-5

6. EAT MY CECIL SHORTS 5-6

Marissa V James

Only 19 points from Drew Brees will end up hurting Marissa this week, luckily for her she can probably keep 1st place in the Easy Division and a cushy playoff spot against the 6th seed after James destroys her this week. It is the least suprising thing this season that the Easy Division turned out to be so weak. James is just #Blessed with RB depth, but we all know this is the time of the season when he makes a poor GM move with the start/sits!!!

Team Kaufhold v Whorin N Scorin

Kauf took full advantage of Darren Sproles last minute inactive by getting 12 points with Pierre Thomas last night. This matchup is ugly tho. Both teams feature multiple players from poor to average offenses, and it will be as low-scoring as Roro at a church service. Im taking Ro Ro for the W.

Me v Thump Daddy

Yikes, not the matchup I needed after my shocking disappointment to Marissa last week.  The Motor City Thumpers get an easy matchup against the Bucs & Rashard Jennings has suddenly become a major fantasy factor. Why couldn’t he still be buried on Kaufs bench??? Not elite Kauf. Not elite at all man. Thats not how you play the fantasy spoiler. But honestly who could’ve seen that coming.  Its got a good chance to be the barnburner of the week, and you never know when the Lions will disappoint, but im still taking Thumper.

Sully v Hans

Sully has a 4 game win streak, the second best record in the league yet is the 4th seed. Thems the breaks kid. It also hurts over half your starters are on bye, and I don’t understand the continued benching of Andrew Luck. Hans is finally getting production from his running backs, but it’s too little, too late to be anything other than a playoff spoiler. I am predicting he will end Sully’s winning streak.

Brooke v Zmart

The return of Steven Jackson! If Brooke can get consistant production from him over the next 2 weeks she could definitely slide into a playoff spot. She will definitely get a victory over Zmart this week. Whats going on Zmart? Your year to year strategy of taking Pats WRs did not work out too good this season.

Taylor v Kranz

Kranz has really rallyed this season, and this matchup is HIIIYUGE for both teams involved. A 3rd loss in a row could sink Taylors team. Dez & Jamaal Charles have gone cold at exactly the wrong time, and RGIII is coming on strong, but faces the 49ers this week. Meanwhile Kranz has picked up Bobby Rainey & if Shane Vereen can return to week 1 form he could pull off the upset. Im taking Kranz.

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