Sup you muff divers, its ya boy DJ Ebrostradamus here to spin the 1’s & 2’s on this week’s Semi-final matchups between the top 4 teams left in the FFF 3.0. Well, it’s really top 3 since Taylor’s starting QB and Ebrostradamus favorite RGIII has been benched for the rest of the season. We have to stop Rick Spielman from watching the rest of the Redskins games, cuz the whole league is about to get Cousins fever once he throws for 330 yards and 2 TDs this week. WOW ILL TRADE YOU A FIRST ROUNDER FOR HIM. But if it makes RGIII available then I’m down. Paul Charchian made a post asking if you would want RGIII on the Vikings next year, and like 75% was no. What the hell.
I’d LOVE to say James has set himself up nicely (RIGGED!?!?!?!?!) But he put up like 140 last week and is projected to get that again this week. It’d be the biggest upset of the season if Taylor can knock him off this week, and with James’s previous history of stinking up the playoffs worse than Kaufhold stinks up the Babes toilets, you can really never say never. Speaking of shitting up the joint, Thumper must be extremely happy that he was the best team in the league and earned the first round bye, because he scored 40 points last week. Thats Zmartz level of points, so girl you know its bad. Currently, I’m projected for the win…..idk how your gonna sleep this weekend Brady, Sheriff’s Comin.
MVP OF THE WEEK: Chiefs D scored twice last week, providing me a 15 point victory over feeble minded country bumpkin Brady Sullivan. Better luck next season, chump.
LVP OF THE WEEK: 40 points for a 12-1 team is really really really bad, but since it had no consequences I can’t give it the LVP. I have to give it to Sully’s country bumpkin GM mind, who left 118 points on the bench. Joe Flacco over Andrew Luck & Andy Dalton sucked, they each scored atleast 30, and Cardinals D got 21. High draft pick Montee Ball also did good. Sorry Taylor & Brooke, nobody really cared about your pathetic little matchup.
BRANDON BURNS “THATS INTERESTING” AWARD: Sullys bench would’ve beat Bradys starters nearly 3 times over…doh!
LAST WEEK: 1-1
SEASON TOTAL: 48-34
BRADY V ME
I was all excited all year for the Motor City Thumpers to collapse when the Lions inevitably had one bad week late in the season, and of course it happened on Thumpers bye. This week they take on the Baltimore Ravens, who are 1-5 on the road & nearly got beat by the Vikings last week. Yikes. They also play in a dome, and now Matt Elam is calling Megatron old and shit. Fucking A Cotton. Hopefully Reggie Bush injures himself in warmups again. I’m actually projected to beat Thumper by one, but MJD might not even play (I have his backup but cmon), Gronk is out for the year & my #1 weapon, the Sheriff, has a fucking Thursday Night game. Ohhhhhhhh boy. Alshon Jeffery is becoming unstoppable, but if Cutler starts, could it change? Is Rashad Jennings reliable? Thumper has a lot of question marks on his team, but mine has too many to really say an upset is a sure thing. It can definitely happen, but I’m taking Thump Daddy this week.
JAMES V TAYLOR
Simply put, James team is a juggernaut. He has Josh Gordan, Jimmy Graham & Lesean McCoy, two other top 10 RBs in Moreno & Murray, the #2 defense in Seattle, and a top 10 QB in Romo. Oh and Larry Fitzgerald is his worst starter. Taylor has Jamaal Charles, the #1 RB in the game, but everybody else is ice cold. Jason Campbell is a solid waiver wire pick up this late in the game, but he doesnt have the potential RGIII has. In the past month James has put up 140, 153, 128 and 95 points. Taylor has put up 60, 76, 108 & 73. Its gonna take a Miracle on Ice for Taylor to win. Do you believe in miracles?