Week 2: Burn in hell, Goodell!

Ebrostradamus has long preached that Rodger Goodell should be fired. He is a bigger clown than all those clowns up in Washington. Ya, I said it! Bunch of clowns up on Capital Hill!! Come get me, Baracketology Huessin (Or is it insane?) Obamacare!! You’re a clown, brother!! What are you gonna do when these 36 inch pythons are coming for youuuuuuu!!!

Clowns

What aspect of pro football hasn’t Goodell ruined? Players can’t make big hits, on both players and bongs, the player conduct code is a joke and him being judge and jury with off the field incidents can giiiiit out, Bountygate, the 2011 Lockout and 2012 ref lockout, Madden sucks,  he starred in Draft Day, and now the pathetic Ray Rice cover-up. The only thing he ever got right was suspending Chris Henry. Keith Olberman schools the Ginger Hammer here:

Week One Notes

Doug Martin..more like Doug Boelter. He went 9 carries for 9 yards. Peyton Manning & Carson Palmer had more rushing yards. I will never understand why he was rated so high pre draft. Would he and Zac Stacey go in the Top 50 if we re-did the draft today? Matty Buttsniffer says Na..na.

Thursday night games …why are they still fucking around with these? Never a good game EVER, our fantasy teams always suffer, sorry NFL Network you deserve to broadcast a game, but not like this.

One question…..does Orange Julius LOOK like a bitch?

2-Pulp-Fiction-quotes

Every offer is a start or piece of a negotiation, but some of these trade offers were just poop.

Hans:

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I didn’t even who Delanie Walker plays for, and this was pre-suspension Welkah. I do have a hard-on for Kendal Wright tho, but Jennings is better.

I give it a 3 Kranzies Montazuma’s Revenge out of 5.

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James: 

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Ok you just picked Clay off the scrap heap and Sankey is a 3rd string rookie RB. Your drunken trade with Sully on draft night should’ve been official, cuz screw Russell Wilson you’d be lucky to get Christian Ponder for Sankey right now.

 

I give it 4 Kranzies Montazuma’s Revenge out of 5.

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Thump Daddy Fresh:

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My 3rd and 4th rounder for one RB you still have benched, one late round rookie WR still have benched, and Jermaine fucking Gresham. Dohhhhhhh-k.

A PERFECT 5 OUT OF 5 ON THE KRANZIES MOUNTAZUMA’S REVENGE SCALE

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You know Julius Thomas is the number one player in fantasy, has the fucking god damn SHERIFF as his QB in the #1 offense of all time, and is gonna be open as fuck all day underneath with his main comp for targets Wes “ I did molly so Hans will defend me on FB” Welker one headshot away from being more retarded than Billy Bob in Varsity Blues? Yet I all get offered is your 3rd string RBs and WRs?

Better come correct with these trade offers to Ebrostradamus or don’t come at all.

Peyton 1

Peyton #11

SMH’s of the Week:

James for deleting the league.. Thumper for even getting to 100 points..Ebro for not putting out the column until after the Thursday night game…

MVP of the Week:

Matty Ice carried weak performances by Frank Gore & Jordan Cameron to a narrow victory over her hubby. He told her not to pick those two, and they sucked, but he still lost…so I don’t know what the lesson is here. Also I’d like to give a special nod to Hans for making a reasonable FAAB  addition week one this year. #NeverForget Stephan Hill. Although I’m pretty sure you clicked accept to that Larry Fitz for Martellus Bennett trade without even reading it.

LVP of the Week:

Victor Cruz had a high projection from ESPN last week (and currently does again for week 2) but he had only 2 catches for 24 yards….with 2 drops….against the Lions DB’s…and they were behind the whole game…yikes. Lost by ten, if he’d hit 60% of his projection I’d have given Raddo a proper intro to the FFF 4.0 jungle.

*****ahem******also the shit hit the fan for AP.

WELP

Week 2 Quick Picks

EBROLA VIRUS over Prince of Polar      PRINCE OF POLAR over Ebrola Virus

HEAVY BREATHING over Team Sullivan

LAURIE LAWSON over Team Rademacher

THE KARDASHLESEANS over Gronknation #12

EVERYDAY I’M RUSSELL’N over Team Martens

THE GREAT KRANZBY over SouleTrain Express

LAST WEEK: 3-3

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