Ebro wants to give a little love for Golden Tate…Rarely in the NFL do we get players who love to play the heel, but Tate is bringing out a lot of love from this ole hater. Started with him being one of the only cool players ever to come out of Notre Dame aka Tool Academy, the epic Fail Mary which was the best NFL moment of the past 5 years (Fuck Goodell), him alledgedly being the reason Russell Wilson got a divorce from his velociraptor wife, winning a Super Bowl, and now becoming a top ten fantasy stud. EBROSTRADAMUS SALUTES.
Thumper….got whipped by 70 points. That is more turrible then a Tilly fart when you consider you have 6 WRs you could start, his words not mine. 6 WRS who can’t score in a PPR, woah look out for this guy.
Marissa…turns out the near crowning of the official Juggernaut Status was the kiss of death. She has now lost 3 in a row, including a heartbreak to EBROSTRADAMUS that has rejuvenated my season. Stafford loses some value without Megatron to huck it up to, but the rest of the squad remains solid and I’m confident she can turn it around. Not this week tho, she gon lose to Raddo.
Brooke is currently the cock of the walk, sitting undefeated and with top 3 points, but her best skill? Playing weak opponents. Has faced 40 points less then the next lowest GM and 131.4 points less than the league average. That comes out to an average of 25 points less per week then the average FFF GM faces. V lucky, and while her 70 point W in week 4 may have thrown the numbers off, there is no doubt Brooke is getting helped by the weak schedule.
Meanwhile on the opposite spectrum, TayLaw is in top 5 in points yet his record is 1-4, dead last in the league. Crazy since he has the #1 WR, TE, and DEF in the game. Actually, screw him, I’m his only victory. Eat a dick TayLaw!!!! Not V elite GMing there pal!!!! Ever heard of scheduling some cupcakes??
After TY Hilton put up nearly 40 large, the Prince of Polar hisself ZHans is projected 180, could this be the week the 200 point barrier is broken? To me, it all rides on the leg of Blair Walsh. I say he falls atleast 40 points short, but still crushes Kauf Daddy.
Finally, I saw former FFF member Ross Ro Ro Ballin n Shit Martens got two cats named Dakota & Ramsey..what, did he name them after the county jails he’s been in? Thank you, here all week.
SMH’s of the Week: Thumper not breaking 60 (Has early lead in SMH of The Year Award), James not breaking 100 plus for doubting Sully about starting Russell Man Muscle Wilson over He Who Shall Not Be Named.
MVP of the Week: Desean Jackson for his big MNF giving me a comeback W, Arian Foster returning from the dead, Dez Bryant
LVP of the Week: Jimmy Graham, Steal of the First Month Martellus Bennett
Week 4 Quick Picks
TEAM RADEMACHER over The KardashLeSeans
THE PRINCE OF POLAR over #GronkNation 12
EBROLA VIRUS over Cordarrelle Pat Her Ass Son
SOULETRAIN EXPRESS over Team Martens
EVERYDAY I’M RUSSELL’N over Beat n Round the Bush
THE GREAT KRANZBY over Heavy Breathing
LAST WEEK: 4-2
SEASON TOTAL: 14-16