Semi’s Ragin’ Edition

Are you ready for some semiiiiiiiiii’s???? An FFF partayyyyyyyy? Well this is ol Ebro and I’m back n I’m ready to get this thang starteddddddd. After this weekend, two teams will have launched their rockets to the lifelong glory and a never ending pussy train of a FFF Championship Title!!!

Finals bout to be launched

The Wild Card Round was damn exciting to the finish, both came down to Sunday Night Football with all 4 teams having legit shots to go into the semi’s. The only letdown came when the San Diego Chargers entire team decided not to show up against the Patriots, giving only my and Zmarts matchup a little bit of drama and totally killing Taylaw’s comeback chance and chance for a FFF Title repeat. Raddo and James both had to be licking their chops, putting up higher scores than any of the Wild Cards, but hmm too bad it was all for naught.

So then there were 4. How do all the semi-finalists stack up? I break it down:

Ebrola Virus:

  • Julius Thomas is back baby!!
  • Questions at QB: Phil Rivers & Tannehill have cooled off and are inconsistant week to week
  • Rag Tag RB squad is looking pretty formidable, but the RB market this season has had more ups and downs than the elevator business. I have gone through AP, Ray Rice, Ahamad Bradshaw and now Andre Ellington.. The “run” (no pun intended) of good luck and EBROSTRADAMUS magic could end any week.

Team Rademacher:

  • Fucking A Ravens D this guy bids $15 for…
  • Projected a ridiculous 162. I’d guess it’ll be closer to 130.
  • How good will Gordon be with Johnny Football? Alshon Jeffery and Mike Evans are on fire, and Gayaaron Rodgers (thank you) will probably be league MVP over the more deserving JJ Watt JMO. We seriously do not give Sully enough shit for giving Raddo Rodgers straight up for Ben Tate.
  • I have to give Raddo some kudos, typically he is, bar none (maybe Shlong) the worst fantasy player in any league he enters, so he really snuck up on all of us with this excellant season so far.

Ebro comin

The Great Kranzby:

  • Luck-Dez-AJ Green are as good as a non-pornagraphic threesome gets IMO.
  • Doug Martin starting in a big game has to feel great. Oh and he’s projected a solid game too (14 points). It’s predictably heartbreaking for the Macho King. I’d rather start Doug Boelter.
  • Lamar Miller has been a top 10 RB this year? I had no clue. Pats DEF shut down the Chargers last week. The RBs on this team are giving me the heebie jeebies…they need to be solid for Kranz to have a shot at all, otherwise it’s…

funeral

Heavy Breathing:

  • ELI LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • This could be another very painful exit for James, but Eli is up against Washington DEF, which I guess is the cure for AIDS for fantasy QBs or something. Still, Eli doe.
  • Joique, Jordy, & Forte on fire but damn 27 projected for Forte… even against those brave Hurricane Katrina survivors the New Orleans Saints, I’ll take the under.
  • I’d be nervous starting Roddy & Jordan Cameron but it’d be pretty ironic if Cameron sent you to the ship after all that shit you talked about him in the draft lol.
  • Still, Jordy Nelson is the man. He’s pretty much the only preseason prediction I made that has a chance to become right (Most TD receptions)
  • Anyway, we all know that the semi’s have been The Commish’s kryptonite. This year his team is more balanced & reliable in the past, yet something unmistakeable is in the air…a gif montage of James’ fantasy failures!!

James playoffs 1

James playoffs 2

James playoffs 3

Notes

SMH’s of the Week: Rodger Goodell’s new conduct policy…Goodell could take a few notes from James on what a do-nothing commish should act like hehe.

MVP of the Week: CJ Anderson, Odell Beckham Jr, AJ Green, Andrew Luck

LVP of the Week: Dolphins DEF, Nick Novak, Keenan Allen, Ryan Matthews, Basically any Chargers player that started for all 4 teams.

Playoff Semi-Final Quick Picks

HEAVY BREATHING over The Great Kranzby

TEAM RADEMACHER over Ebrola Virus

LAST WEEK: 0-2

SEASON TOTAL: 39-41

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