THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!1!!!1

What if I were to tell you…

The worst fantasy player ever made the title game in his first year of FFF?

That his challenger would be someone who started Doug Martin in the semis, and it actually worked?

The FFF and ESPN’s 30 for 30 bring you….

Once Roommates: The True Tale of an Epic Year of Fantasy Football

Screen Shot 2014-12-18 at 10.36.02 PM

It should come to no surprise that James fell short in the semi’s this season, but it would be hard to say it was as painful as last years exit to a pitiful Taylaw team that eventually won it all. Eli Manning gamble paid off, as he threw for 3 tuddys to ODB, but the thing that SINGLE HANDEDLY caused him watch his title game destiny slip away was watching Jordy Nelson drop a sure 94 yard touchdown against the Bills. That 13 points would’ve given him the fantasy dub. Brutal. We can see the actual moment when James season fell apart:

wiggum

 Meanwhile, Dez Bryant could not be stopped for the Macho King, his patience in Travis Kelce paid off, and he got just enough from the rest of his team to gain that golden ticket to the title game. The RB game was ugly, but 120 points is a solid total that, all season long, can get you that fantasy dub.

But what happened to EBROSTRADAMUS? Did his team not show up, similar to last years finals? Well thats not totally true, as ROY Odell Beckham Junior scored thrice with 12 receptions, and the Texans Def scored their 6th TD this season (more than Julian Edelman, LeSean McCoy, Gio Bernard etc.) but for the most part the rest of Ebrola Virus just did not give er’ too much. I am mostly disappointed in Julius Thomas, who for the second year in a row, faded down the home stretch. 117 points is nothing to get mad about, but if my squad would’ve played up to their weekly averages I could’ve beat the best team in the league again. Speaking of which, Raddo’s team put up a week high 139 points, led by Jeremy Hill going HAM on the Browns (good one Johnny Football just quit) Julian Edelman and the fucking Ravens Def. Luckily Aaron Rodgers got shut the fuck down by the circling wagons of Buffalo Bills, or this semi could’ve been a blowout.

The Finals:

ESPN has the Macho King projected winner 151-145, but who can truss that? EBROSTRADAMUS is the one true fantasy predictor as it was once written in the stars and brought to screen by JJ Abrams. To the tape!

QBs: Andrew Luck vs. Aaron Rodgers

Luck is the #1 player in fantasy, and Arodg will probably win his second MVP. This is as good as it get, folks. They each have generous match ups, Luck faces what ppl thought would be the worst defense of all time in Dallas Def, which hasn’t turned out to be all that turrible, and Rodgers gets Tampa Bay Tampa Bay. See, the thing is, Arodg is gon be angry after last week. You…wouldn’t like him, when he’s angry. Should be prettay, prettay EVEN.

RBs: Lamar Miller & Doug Martin vs. Demarco Murray & Jeremy Hill

Even with Demarco breaking his hand, Jeremy Hill is single handedly better than Kranz’s shit-tastic RB crew. Speaking of which….jk I will not show Kranz’s Moutezuma’s Revenge anymore this season. Advantage RADDO

WRs:Dez Bryant, AJ Green & Kenny Stills vs. Alshon Jeffery, Mike Evans & Julian Edelman

Dez is absolutely mobbin’ right now, and AJ Green is too good to be held down by Andy Dalton every week. Stills is hit or miss but Ill take that shot in the flex all day when Drew Brees is his QB…Raddo has the true best WRs in the league tho, and the #1 WR last year Josh Gordon is on his bench. The only thing that scares me is that, for some fucking reason, the Bears think it’s a good idea to let this guy start at QB vs. the Lions. Good luck Alshon. Advantage KRANZ

Clauson

TEs: Travis Kelce vs. Jared Cook

Ya idk why Andy Reid hates Kelce so much, I have never seen so many articles written about the stud potential of one dude without him ever really showing much on the field, but hey here we are. Cook will either get nothing or 2 catches for 12 yards and 2 TDs. That’s his game. Advantage KRANZ

Def & Kicker: Jags DEF & Justin Tucker vs. Ravens DEF & Cario Santos

Eh, I’ll let ESPN handle this: Kranz is projected 11 total, Raddo is 13. Have to feel like starting Jags Def is something you should be avoiding…Advantage RADDO

According to my precise calculations, with .3 repeating of course, each team has two positional advantages over the other, with the QB battle being a tie between their two best players. So what I’m trying to say is we are going to have a good ol fashioned barn burner on our hands, folks! Vote in the comments who you think takes that glorious FFF paycheck and lifelong bragging rights.

As for EBROSTRADAMUS? I’m calling the upset baby!!!!! Jimmy Clauson is no diaper dandy anymore, he’s gonna get that poo poo stink all over Raddo’s team this week!!!! Can you believe Macho King Kranz as a champion?? It’s awesome baby!!!

vitale1

NOTES
SMH’s of the Week:

James with his patented semi final exit, nobody watched The U Part 2 when it originally aired.

MVP of the Week:

Dez Bryant, Jeremy Hill

LVP of the Week:

Phil Rivers, Julius Thomas, Sammy Watkins, Jordan Cameron, Jordy Nelson

Championship Quick Picks

THE GREAT KRANZBY over Team Rademacher

Money Back Bowl

EBROLA VIRUS over Heavy Breathing

LAST WEEK: 1-1

SEASON TOTAL: 40-42

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