Weekly League Notes:
Nice lil hate week folks: 4 match ups decided by less than 4 points. Now that’s how let the hate build beeeeeeeeeeitch (Lil Wayne voice). What’s even better is all the underdogs one, so congrats to me, Sully, Tay Tot and Zmarts for saving up all that hate hate hate to punish our opponents with that Hate Week dub, which we all know counts extra in the playoff race. Or something like that IDK I haven’t totally read all the rules in this league
Speaking of not knowing the rules…nothing worse than when someone complains about not putting in a high enough bid and then complains about having to wait until Sunday to find out if they will have a starting WR this week. No one is crying for you Thumper!! Put in a competitive bid on your three chances and stop being a baby!! I was gonna nominate Tinley for Baby of the Week, but it’s definitely you! (Congrats James and Brooke!!!!!!)
The Playoff Race is looking almost locked up for 5 of the teams in playoff positions right now, but Tay Law is 4-4 and the rest of the league minus Ebro is 3-5, so that last playoff spot is more wide open than Phoenix Marie after a BBC gangbang. These last 5 weeks gon b gud!
EBROSTRADAMUS Win Watch:
It happened! Got that second W. Frankly folks, this weekly win watch has been solid gold to whomever is the lucky bastard to get put on it. This week, I’m switching it up to Sully Lose Watch! Three in a row has got the Dirty One in the playoff hunt, and currently is projected to beat 30 for 30 by 0.7 points. He has also asked me to personally rip on Raddo’s roster this week, so here goes:
Big Ben: Grey dick
Demarco Murray: Dumb Okie
Shane Vereen: Cut by Belichick
ODB: Likes Drake
Delanie Walker: No one named Delanie has ever won the Super Bowl.
Eric Decker: Voluntarily went to play for the Jets
HOWEVA….I don’t think he realized that Raddo hasn’t picked up a DEF or a K yet, so I’m calling his streak ending this weekend.
Deangelo Williams (foolishly dropped a few weeks ago by yours truly) went for what I believe to be a record $64 for replace the injured Leveon Bell. Elite RBs have never had it so bad as they have had it this year! All you need is two good weeks and your a top ten RB! Doug Martin has been top 5 all year! Mark Ingram has been rock solid, you have not heard barely a peep about how his year his gone, yet he’s the top dawg, the bee’s knees, the cat’s meow. Antonio Andrews may finish top ten when its all said and done. God I fucking hate fantasy so much.
Jeremy Langford went for $2 and he is likely starting the next two weeks for YOUR Chicago Bears. You guys are chuuuuuummmmmmmmps.
MVP of the Week: Julio Jones, Alex Smith, Michael Crabtree
EBROSTRADAMUS RB Memorial LVP of the Week: Ameer Abdullah, Davante Adams, Emmanuel Sanders, Aaron Rodgers, Big Ben
SMH of the Week: Brees and Eli went for 7 and 6 TDs and both owners lost. S my damn H!!!
Fan Duel Game of the Week:
Marissa V Zmarts
Zmarts has been popping up here a lot, and it’s mostly record-based. He’s on a two game win streak, and honestly if you can look at his roster and tell me how I will buy you a new double steak crunch wrap from Taco Bell, which BTW get 5 Kranzies. Julio is the MVP(either him or Devonta) but the rest is trash, and now 2/4 players I called out for being injury prone went down for the year (Steve Smif, Arian Foster) Andrew Luck is the 20th best fantasy QB, do u know how easy it is to be a good fantasy QB?? I have the 2nd AND 3rd best, and my team blows more than Jenna Jameson at age 18 in the valley.
Anyway Marissa’s team is more ridiculous top to bottom than Jenna Jameson age 18 in the valley and Tyler Eifert may end up having a better season than Gronk. Yes that sentence was just typed in full seriousness.
Draft Kings Lame of the Week:
Me vs James
This matchup is meaningless, so I suggest we all buy these shirts and watch Varsity Blues instead. Dibs on Moxon!!
Oops Eiferted Again over Ebrola Virus
30 for 30: Encore over Tay Tot’s Tuddddies
Dez Any1 Have A RB For Me? over The Human Gerbil
Soule Train over Team Martens
The Bedonkagronks over Mile High Heroes
Peaky Fooking Kranzers over I DONT WANT YOUR LIFE