Real Friends: How many of us?

Weekly League Notes:

Ppl have probably forgot that points matter this year. The 6th highest season point total will make the playoff cut this year, & right now the FFF has 5 teams with winning records and 7 who need to start playing better fantasy defense. Defense wins championships, Pat Summit, rest her soul, might have nailed fantasy football down better than anyone else, Ebrostradamus not withstanding.


Right now the top 5 scorers are conveniently the GMs with w/ winning records, so Kranz holds a slim 0.1 point lead over Brooke for that 6th playoff spot. Folks, wouldn’t be surprised if James cooks the books and we see a mysterious increase in Brooke’s total by end of season here.


In a rare, unprecedented tactical move, Taylor denied that it was week 5 & he was in fact playing the Bang Bang Gronk Gang for most of Sunday. Seems like a simple opening of the ESPN Fantasy app which he works on so would’ve proved he was wrong but I guess he wanted to enjoy being undefeated while it lasted. Uhhhh, hey Taylor? Maybe time to stop following the lead of your personal hero Donald Trump & start embracing the grim reality that you are losing. Folks as late as 5 PM (thats central time now), Taylor was STILL in denial about how Ebrostradamus was essentially grabbing his pussy. Now thats what I call making America great again.

After this week 6 meeting of 4-1 PPR Harambe & the 4-1 Bang Bang Gronk Gang, it’s possible we may have a Juggernaut Status on our hands! James has been full mast since getting Tom Brady back, and Jordan Howard has been Fantasy Manna from Heaven (AKA a Fantasy Darko) the past 3 weeks. Shady McCoy is strong & if Maclin & Fleener can start ballin, James will be a lock to get roughed up in the fantasy semi-finals yet again. Meanwhile, Team Ebro is showing the Zero RB strategy can work, as Deangelo Williams, Christine Micheal, & Frank Gore have been solid starters fo cheap. I ask for your thoughts n prayers as I decide who to start each week between Marvin Jones, TY Hilton, Brandon Marshall, & Jarvis Landry. I have also been full mast, just absolutely bricked up since Touchdown Tommy returned, since that means I get GRONK back, and I guess GRONK decided he didn’t want to play with anyone but TB I guess. Should be a real slobberknocker, may the true Juggernaut Status emerge!

On the flip side..Brady’s team, so sad. Folks, for a team led by a Soule this collection of old timers, wannabes and scrubs has anything but. Look at this shit! Depressing as hell. Put up a nice score this week though, 69 points! (The sex number)


Great weekend for my close personal friends on the Vikings. Old drinking buddy Adam Thielen finished as the #7 WR, and close friend Cordarrelle Patterson (seen here in happier times) is back as an all purpose weapon for Norv & Sturdy Sam to spread all around the field like butter. Great week, but even greater guys. To say I am proud of the hard work these two men have put in to get this far would be a humble understatement.


Week 5 Quick Judgments 

Eddie Lacy needs to get fat again

Levon Bell projected 25 points this week…I’m taking the over.

Decks done for the year, BMarsh top 5 WR the rest of the way.

Falcons backfield so interchangeable, and so great. Supposed to monsoon in Seattle this weekend tho.

Marcus Mariota = MVP

Golden Tate = LVP. Yeesh, have never seen a PPR machine go so bad so fast for pretty much no reason. He must’ve shit on Matthew Stafford’s favorite bro tank or something.

If Zmart actually made moves he could be something special. Big Ben+ Zeke= winning core.

Week 5 Regrets

Matty Ice remains the #1 scorer in fantasy. James sold so low you would think it was my blood sugar. #1 in pass yards & #2 in TDs & he just solid v the 2nd best DEF in the league (Denver)

Thought Lamar Miller was a steal in the 2nd round…Most touches ever through 5 weeks without a TD according to ESPN. That bad?

Thielen has more points than Maclin, DJax, Cobb, Edelman on the year. When will grit become a factor in ESPN’s preseason rankings?

Forrest sat two 30 point players this week. He still would’ve lost, but still, the regret.

Marissa has 3 top 10 RBs and exactly one win to show for it. #FREETHEFLEX

FAAB Summary:

Very fiscally responsible this week, as the best players available were Jacquizz Rodgers & Devonte Booker AKA players who need injuries to break out. Bears & 49ers WRs were also scooped up so you know things may be getting desperate. Everyone wanted a piece of that Titans DEF against the Browns this week, and I can’t blame them.

Top Dogs of the Week: David Johnson, TY Hilton

Lil Weenie of the Week:  Julio Jones

Bozo Move of the Week:  Zmarts not starting a TE for the 2nd time in 5 weeks.

Fantasy Darko aka Blessing of the Week:  

Jalen Ricard was an 11 AM Sunday pickup & his 15 points provided the margin of victory for me over Taylaw, allegedly.


TOTAL: 9-15

Brooke over James

Zmart over Thump

Taylor over Raddo

Forrest over Kranz

Kauf over Marissa

Ebro over James


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