Weekly League Notes:
It’s official: James is on Juggernaut Status
He’s getting TE rushing TD’s for fricks sake!!! Salute to the Commish, he leads the league in points yet somehow has only 3 top 10 players and then just one RB2 & WR2 after that. It is actually baffling when you look at it….
Numbers never lie tho, and James is doing the damn thang week in & week out. When you average 133 points a week, you deserve Juggernaut Status. Tom Brady is back, and his bench is full of RB lotto tix. Folks, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw a few more big weeks before the annual semi-finals diarrhea.
Kauf is riding a 4 game winning streak, and folks, this team looks better than Lindsay Pelas carrying a keg of Micheloeb Golden Light into your house with a $50 Chipotle gift card in her back pocket & a pallet of Lil Caesar’s Crazy Bread in tow. Even Matthew Berry can’t deny the sexiness of the Mile High Heroes. There are only two players on this starting roster who aren’t a QB-RB-WR-TE-K-DEF1, and those two (Todd Gurley & Demaryious Thomas) happen to be the 17th ranked players at their positions. Well done Leslie!
Marissa…..65 points….seriously? Like cmon……seriously?
Week 5 Quick Judgments
Good to see ODB back at it again with those one of a kind highlight plays. Yes, I’m talking about his proposal to the kicker’s netting. What’s next, a female president??
Lamar Miller heard Ebro talking that talk in last week’s Ebro, & boy did he personally respond to my call out of his TD-free play. Great game by the Texans RB, and one hell of a TD reception here. I am really not afraid at all to light a fire under anyones ass to improve their fantasy play. Uhhh hey Arian Foster, ever heard of ummm ya know, outplaying Jay Ajaji? Maybe think about that one, huh? Uhhh, ya think?
Who would’ve thunk DeAndre Hopkins, Allen Robinson, & Randall Cobb would form the worst WR crew in the league? Sorry Marissa, seasons ova.
Case Keenum = MVP
Week 5 Regrets
Brooke left Matt Jones & Spencer Ware riding the pine in a close loss to Polar Chev’s finest. Not saying I would ever feel great about starting Matt Jones, but fantasy is humbling and sometimes we have to do crazy things.
Raddo, like Ryan Mathews much??? Leaving Cam Meredith on the bench was somewhat questionable as well, seeing as how Hoyer is the new Aaron Rodgers..
But wait….dey’s more
Makes me hopeful for a return to greatness for the exiled Jonathan Football, once Sturdy Sam goes down after smelling a pinch of Mike Zimmer’s Red Man chaw.
LOL at the NFL media for hyping up Carson Wentz. Vikings will make him retire to a profitable life as a North Dakota oil rigger (probably as down home & heroic as Mark Wahlberg in Deepwater Horizon, which I didn’t see) after his ass gets pulverized by the Purple People Eaters 2.0 on Sunday.
FAAB Summary: 18 bids, now thats how we do a FAAB!! Kniles Davis & Kenny Britt were the big additions at $17 & $19, & I gotta LOL at Kniles Davis. Nothing like a concussed, crappy RB on the Packers to put the battery in your team’s back! I love the Britt & Ty Montgomery pick ups. Mike Gillislee for $1 is a steal, and I know a lil sum sum about steals.
Top Dogs of the Week: Hella top dogs this week: ODB, James White, Shady McCoy, Brandin Cooks, & Lamar Miller
Lil Weenie of the Week: Derek Carr, Matt Forte & Sammie Coates
Bozo Move of the Week: Donald Trump. You seen this clown? Also, Zmarts finally made some roster moves & ultimately benched Golden Tate before his two TD explosion lmaooo.
Fantasy Darko aka Blessing of the Week: James White blessed Hans with 8 receptions and two TDs, providing 26 points in Hans stunning 13 point week 6 win over Brooke. Who said God isn’t White?
LAST WEEK: 3-3
SEASON TOTAL: 12-18
Hans over Kranz
Ebro over Brooke
Taylor over Soule
Kauf over Raddo
Marissa over Zmarts
Forrest over James