Mid-SZN Awards

Mid Szn Awards

QB

Top Dog: Matty Ice

Weenie: Russell Man Muscle Wilson

RB:

Top Dog: David Johnson, Demarco Murray

Weenie (Non Injury): Gurley, Jeremy Langford

WR:

Top Dog: AJ Green, Julio Jones

Weenie: Allen Robinson, Alshon Jeffrey

TE:

Top Dog: Greg Olson

Weenie: Julius Thomas

Best Draft: I’m still sticking with Taylaw here. Crabtree & Melvin Gordon in the 7th & 8th are league winning moves.

Worst Draft: Thumper. They all got hurt as bad as Michael Scott did when he slept with the George Foreman Grill. (Hardcore Office fans will only get this metaphor)

Best Waiver Wire Worker: One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and James has found Jordan Howard & Davante Booker on the wire this year. Both were drafted by other owners, and let go before they reached their potential. Shame on you.

Biggest Bozo Move: Matty Ice for TJ Yeldon. Kauf giving James a nice taste of Matty Ice this week too, while Tom Brady is ironically on a bye…delicious. We are still waiting for Taylaw to put the battery in Raddos back tho with a crap trade howeva.

Week 5 Quick Judgments

Dez is back? Is ARdog back? Is Jimmy Graham back? Its like we took a time machine back to 2014. So does it mean Hans is back? Matty Buttweiler says na na. He is getting nothing from his RBs,  we coulda been looking at a contenda.

Good on ya, James. You scored 140 points and could sleep easy knowing you didnt betray the Vikings by keeping Jordan Howards 30 point MNF Viking skull bashing on the bench.

Derek Carr = MVP. 513 yards & 4 TDs…I always thought Derek Carr would go down with a major injury & never be the same long before Theodore Two Gloves would. How wrong Ebro was. Daaaaaaaaaaaaa Raiders. Cooper & Crabtree are WR3 & WR4.

Why not to draft RBs high: AP, Rawls, Jamal Charles & Doug Martin are 1st & 2nd round picks who gave their owners jack. Todd Gurley was the 1st RB picked, and he’s barely an RB2. Ingram is busting. Its a 50-50 guess when you pick a high round RB.

I honestly don’t know how Gus Bradley still has a job.

FYI Brooke in last place, yet is still making the playoffs. Kindve hilarious when 10/12 teams are within 2 games of each other. Parity rules the FFF!!!!

2 Losses in a row for Taylaw, and 3 of the last 4. Cam gonna hold up down the stretch?

Week 5 Regrets

Mark Ingram with the rarely seen negative weekly point total for an RB. Alabama running backs, I tell ya. Bad when your frat brother Trent Richardson outscores you sitting on the couch eating Gardettos.

Wish I had bid on Davante Booker when he was a FA 4 weeks ago.

They should let the Vikings who remain healthy take steroids for the rest of the year. Only fair. Sam Bradford would be able to fill out his dad’s jersey, finally.

jesse-ventura-on-trump-weed-kaepernick-and-governing-minnesota-body-image-1478113139

I regret not playing up my Cub fanhood more now that they’ve won the World Series, since I watched a Cubbie-Pittsburgh game once back when I was 9 when it used to always be on WGN.

FAAB Summary:

Brooke got the best tw0 RB free agents( Tim Hightower & Sharknado West). Can she turn it around, and put some W’s on the board? Folks, this is one person used to turn arounds, as she’s been turning around Tinley, Tillie, & James while changing their diapers for a year now!

Kranz lost every single bid. LOL

Top Dogs of the Week: Tom Brady, Theo Reddick

Lil Weenie of the Week:  Julio Jones, TY Hilton, Mark Ingram

Bozo Move of the Week: BK for starting Jerick Mckinnon

Fantasy Darko aka Blessing of the Week:  Easily wouldve gone to Jordan Howard had he started. I think Dez & Allen Hurns combing for 45 points has to count as some kind of miracle this year.

LAST WEEK: 4-2

SZN TOTAL: 19-23

Taylor over Hans

Thump over Forrest

Kranz over Marissa

Ebro over Raddo

Brooke over Zmarts

Kauf over James

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